Importance of Goals~

    Good afternoon my readers, what a glorious day it is today. The sun is shining and im in good spirits and im writing in my blog, which I love doing for all my faithful readers and for those who are finding me for the very first time. Today’s topic is going to be about “Goals” why they are important and how we can go about setting small achievable ones without feeling overwhelmed.

   There was a time in my journey that I didn’t have goals, I didn’t see a point because I saw no hope for my future living with mental illness. Now I’ve come a long ways, ive reached some of those goals, others are on hold and others are still in progress as I write this. The ones that are on hold are not because of my mental health. But my physical health, but those who deal with both know that when our bodies break down in any form, it can wear on us emotionally.

    So before we go any further to discuss why goals are important and ways we can achieve them, I would like to share some of my own personal ones Ive set out to accomplish and where they each stand. The purpose for that is to show you there is hope for YOU!!! Reread that again, there is HOPE for you! Its not easy, it’s a process to work through, its believing that you can, it’s looking into the mirror and saying I DESERVE this!

  The first goal I had set out to do was get off most of my medication at one time I was on 24 pills a day. That all stopped back in 2003.With talking things over with my doctors, having support of family and friends. I then was off ALL meds for my bipolar for about 6 years, it was during that time a lot of my other goals came to fruition.

   Then back in 2011  I had to go back on meds, but just 2, when I was diagnosed with a chronic disease called Intersttial cystitis…  and a lot of things were going in  our lives at that time I had to get stable again and I did. Over the years another goal that ties into that was learning better coping skills and how stress management plays a vital role in staying mentally healthy.

   I then made the goal of going to college and take early childhood education, I took just about all my childcare classes,   and though unable to get my degree because of my physical health I not only became lead teacher I got my state certification for Director 2., when we set small goals and go about them taking small steps, they are easier to attain and achieve. Of course the goal of working after many years of not able to, But sadly had to stop after 3 and half years in the field because of my physical health.

   A couple of years back I started writing book about my life and all that ive been through, then I stopped because life got busy and my health was top priority, then I started up again and got much further along in writing it, then it got misplaced and I though all was gone,  I prayed, I prayed hard, writing had always been a passion of mine and I know its part of Gods plan for me to write and get my story out there. Sure enough hubby found it on his hard drive and I was so thankful. So that’s a goal im still working on and not giving up on!

 So why are goals important, we all have gifts and talents and passions, God made us with them, to sue them for his glory. We all have a purpose in this world. We all add something to the mix. When we have goals set, we have something to work towards. We use our minds, we stay busy, and we learn, we grow and then when we accomplish them it’s a sense of satisfaction and it boosts our self esteem that we can make something of our lives!

 It’s important to set small achievable goals, so you don’t feel overwhelmed! Because then you might feel disappointment if you can’t achieve them. But no one is a failure when we try our hardest! That’s all we can do! Setting small goals can be anything! But for you it’s a big goal! Getting out of bed, taking a shower, going for a walk, giving yourself me time!!! Very important! Taking time to read your bible!

   Taking a online class, starting part time work, whatever you set your mind to, start off small, write up  steps, it might even help to set time frames id like to lose weight by this date! Whatever it may be, start small! You can do it I know you can!

 Goals are important part of life! We can’t just float through life with no goals! Talk to your therapist about what you what out of life, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish something! Believe in yourself! Others do! I do! I know its scary, but when you step out and take that first step, like i did, when I started college, I never thought I was college material, I had dropped out of high school at 16, only to go back later, not too later, about a year or so later!

  Reach for the stars! Goals give us purpose and a new perspective on life, something we can work towards achieving!Once you accomplish one goal, others will become easier.

Supporting Family and Friends with Bipolar~

Good evening readers, im so sorry that the day have got away from me and its been awhile since I posted in this blog. I miss writing, such a part of who iam, and I know there are so many out there who struggle daily, and I want this blog to be a glimmer of hope amidst your dark days.

    Tonight’s topic is supporting family and friends who have mental illness. This disease doesn’t just affect the person who has it, but those in that person’s life who are closest to them. The effects are far reaching; it is a family disease in many ways. So what are ways that if you are close to someone with mental illness, how can you support them, whether it be a child, parent, spouse, best friend, ect…….

   I speak from both sides as someone who has dealt with bipolar and someone who has friends and family who has struggled with this. Ive had amazing support over the years from my husband don and my parents and my grandparents and best friends. They all took the time to educate themselves and stand by me when things got very ugly.

     So what are the ways to come along side and show your love and support in very tangible ways? Educating yourself is very important, for me I already knew how to approach them because I dealt with is, but many don’t, for many this is new territory and it’s just as scary for those in the person’s life, as the person who has been diagnosed. Part of educating yourself is know what Bipolar, depression ect is,  what are the symptoms, what are triggers and what triggers your loved ones or friends episodes.

  Be a listening ear, this is something that’s so important, with bipolar you get deopressed for unknown reasons because of chemical imbalance, those in our lives who love us can’t fix it, but when they actively listen and reassure us they are there, it can make a world of difference. Don’t pass judgments; those suffering are hard enough on themselves without added negativity directed towards them. Guilt is often a feeling that those with mental illness deal with, what you may mean for good, could make them feel more guilty. Coming along side and helping us see clearly and patiently is what we need. At times we feel like we’re under a magnify glass; we are always hardest on ourselves.

   For those who have the depression be as open and honest with your loved ones, help them understand to help you. Its not easy on anyone. It can be scary for a family member to watch their loved one change or transform into a person they don’t know or understand. You need to work as a team. We do our part, and hope they do theirs. It can be tiring, it can feel like a rollercoaster not just for the person with the diagnosis , but the family and friends too.its important for family and friends to get their own support talking to other family members deal with a loved one going through this, that support is vital.

   Sometimes our words seem to not make a difference; we may feel defeated in offering help. I saw my husband go through this, when my bipolar was at its worst. It can be frustrating for the person with the illness if their family and friends don’t understand or don’t take the time to understand and offer support, Family counseling can be so beneficial to the overall emotional health of the family unit.

   Don’t try to walk this road alone. Iot will be very lonely and it can feel overwhelming. Family and friends need to change their view of how they view behaviors, not to look at them as weakness or laziness. And don’t view your loved one as those things. Someone suffering day in and day out with bipolar struggle with feelings of worthlessness, if we aren’t careful our help can come across as judgments.

  Part of educating yourself about this disease and about your loved one, is being able to tell the difference between your loved on and when they are having a episode. Know the difference between symptoms and feelings. Communication and honesty is the key to understanding and a good relationship. When we are feeling most vulnerable and fragile, is when we need the most TLC…. Its unknown territory for all, so be patient, and love each other!