Silence
as dark as the night that pierces your soul. The tears that sting our eyes when
we cry, once they start falling from our eyes, will not be able to stop. So many precious lives lost because they
thought suicide was the solution to their pain, to a problem that there was
hope for.
The
topic I want to address is very tough, very sensitive subject, why because it’s
a growing problem of epidemic portions and it hits close to home. I’ve been
there, I’ve felt those thoughts. Suicide is real, raw and final. Every single
day people of all ages, races and backgrounds end their lives for many reasons.
It truly breaks my heart, and I can feel all your pain because I know and I
understand what drives a person over the edge, of wanting to end their life, of
seeing no other way through, all they see is a way out.
I’ve
tried many times to end my life, times when my thoughts were all jumbled together.
I could not see beyond the darkness, my spirit felt crushed beneath the weight
of the world, which was what I felt was on my shoulders. So many people feel hopeless
because they feel their circumstances will never improve, they don’t realize
the help that out there for them, they can’t see beyond this moment, and they don’t
realize how many love them and the impact their life has on those around them,
or their depression wins the war.
In
that moment when the person chooses death over life, your mind escapes the reality.
It’s as if you can't feel, I felt so many times my life was not worth fighting for.
I couldn’t see through my feelings, knowing that feelings come and they go, and
brighter days would shine again, but not at that moment all I could think of
was being in that time, as if that time stood still. Wanting the emotional pain
to just end, Suicidal ideation comes in at times like a roaring lion, trying to
discover who we are. Other times it comes in silently, trying not to tread on
your life in what others portray as a neat wrapped package.
Nothing is scarier
than feeling like you are out of control of your thoughts and actions. Feeling
helpless, feeling like your screaming at t he top of your lungs, and no one answers
because no one hears and you take that reaction as no one cares. I’ve been
there, I know how that feels. Those were my thoughts, my feelings, my story, my
battle I fought daily for years.
Although suicide
does not discriminate against age, race religion or background, it’s the
leading causes of death among 15-24yr olds. But people of all ages are coming
to end of their rope, they don’t believe there is hope and they don’t reach out
for help. It’s not just those with mental illness that succumb to this. There
are many reasons why a person tries to take their life, dealing with a death of
close family or friend, loss of job, loss of relationship, abuse, chronic illness,
all these are life changing events that can lead a person down this road, until
their emotions spiral so deep and not
reaching out for help in time. When there are so many resources available out
there.
I
have Hope for you because I’ve experienced
Hope and I know that Hope is real, its tangible and its achievable know because
I battled this monster of bipolar and suicidal
thoughts for so long and like so many fall to the deceit these disease lie to
them saying there life has no value, when their value really is priceless. I’ve
been on both sides I’ve been a patient and I’ve studies psychology. I would
love to eventually become a therapist.
I
understand how the mind works, its fascinating
and its because of what ive dealt with
that id want to help, book knowledge is important so you understand the What
causes depression and how it leads to someone wanting to end their life. Yet
life experience is a big contribution too.
So many young
people are turning to suicide as the answer. This is tragic, Instead of
reaching out to the resources that are set in place. So where are we going wrong?
There are many amazing councilors,’ therapists out there, but are we doing all
we can do. We need to reach out to these precious lives before they make that
final decision. It’s a problem that’s growing by epidemic proportions. We need
to speak out and speak loud .Suicide is a very real serious problem, that can’t
be taken lightly. There are some misconceptions of suicide, its important to know
what the warning signs are.
I never wanted to be
a statistic, I almost became one. Today ia, thankful to be alive. Though I suffer
daily in chronic pain with 3 painful diseases, which makes me depressed at
times, I have a purpose in my life. I’ve learned to use all the pain in my life
both physical and emotional to help others. I don’t just want to survive, I want
to live and thrive. I want to see my godchildren grow up and see their dreams
come true. And be there on their wedding days.
There is always
Hope, no matter how dark the night. Nothing is more scary, than feeling as if
your alone with your feelings, like you’re the only one. The truth of the
matter is Many suffer in silence with depression. Many suppress there emotions
and don’t deal with their pain, until its too late. There are people who care,
I for one care about you, each of my readers, even if ive never met you face to
face, I have a heart for those who are hurt, who are broken ,I’ve been there
and I hope by sharing my story from hopelessness to HOPE, you will believe me
when I say your loved! Your precious, your life is a masterpiece. You are here
for a purpose, that only you can fulfill.
When the world
says you can’t, hope whispers’ you CAN! There are resources out there so please
reach out. .Id personally be more than happy to be there for you my email is NatalieMacangel@gmail.com
. email me anytime or you can leave a message on here and ill get back to you whichever
is more comfortable for you .Today you can begin a new chapter in your life,
all you have to do is reach out and there will a hand for you to hold.
