Hello readers, I apologize
for being away for so long. Between dealing with my grandfathers death and my
own dungeon of depression I was feeling trapped for a short time, so I didn’t even
have the energy or motivation to write, and writing is such a huge part of who
iam as a person.
I was in a very dark place, a place that was too familiar to
me. a place in my mind that I didn’t want to travel back to, a place I had been
feeling l like I was seeing my life play out before me.I didn’t want others to
view me as weak, I know the truth I know bipolar and depression is never a sign
of weakness, but I was scared, of what new people in my life would think.
I didn’t want to
reach out or speak up, I wanted to fight the thoughts myself, but I know from experiences
that never ends well. What was I so fearful of? I know I was when those
suidical thoughts afraid that if I got in it deep enough it might take me.I was
not honest with my husband or my therapist~. I hid it well, at every counseling
session I never told her that it was getting bad again and I just wanted to wish it all away.
I finally was honest
with my husband and my therapist. im glad I was .I could no longer keep this secret.
It was tough to be that vulnerable again after all these years. of not feeling secure, feeling afraid of myself. Its
important to reach out and speak up when you feel a episode coming on, don’t hide
away that’s the very worse you can do, when you need help, it might be a
medication adjustment or or you need to see your therapist!, don’t put off
tomorrow what you can do today!
To many people
suffer in silence and fall through the cracks! There is no shame in saying I need
extra help right now in the long run it will benefit you in so many positive
ways!.You’ve come so far, there will be bumps ng the road of this journey, just
buckle down and hold on, You will get through and you,just like you always have
and you always will.So if you’re having tough time reach out, don’t wait until
its too late!~.
