Reach out and Speak up~

  Hello readers, I apologize for being away for so long. Between dealing with my grandfathers death and my own dungeon of depression I was feeling trapped for a short time, so I didn’t even have the energy or motivation to write, and writing is such a huge part of who iam as a person.

I was in a very dark place, a place that was too familiar to me. a place in my mind that I didn’t want to travel back to, a place I had been feeling l like I was seeing my life play out before me.I didn’t want others to view me as weak, I know the truth I know bipolar and depression is never a sign of weakness, but I was scared, of what new people in my life would think.

   I didn’t want to reach out or speak up, I wanted to fight the thoughts myself, but I know from experiences that never ends well. What was I so fearful of? I know I was when those suidical thoughts afraid that if I got in it deep enough it might take me.I was not honest with my husband or my therapist~. I hid it well, at every counseling session I never told her that it was getting bad again and I just wanted to   wish it all away.

  I finally was honest with my husband and my therapist. im glad I was .I could no longer keep this secret. It was tough to be that vulnerable again after all these years. of not feeling  secure, feeling afraid of myself. Its important to reach out and speak up when you feel a episode coming on, don’t hide away that’s the very worse you can do, when you need help, it might be a medication adjustment or or you need to see your therapist!, don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today!

  To many people suffer in silence and fall through the cracks! There is no shame in saying I need extra help right now in the long run it will benefit you in so many positive ways!.You’ve come so far, there will be bumps ng the road of this journey, just buckle down and hold on, You will get through and you,just like you always have and you always will.So if you’re having tough time reach out, don’t wait until its too late!~.