Importance of Goals~

    Good afternoon my readers, what a glorious day it is today. The sun is shining and im in good spirits and im writing in my blog, which I love doing for all my faithful readers and for those who are finding me for the very first time. Today’s topic is going to be about “Goals” why they are important and how we can go about setting small achievable ones without feeling overwhelmed.

   There was a time in my journey that I didn’t have goals, I didn’t see a point because I saw no hope for my future living with mental illness. Now I’ve come a long ways, ive reached some of those goals, others are on hold and others are still in progress as I write this. The ones that are on hold are not because of my mental health. But my physical health, but those who deal with both know that when our bodies break down in any form, it can wear on us emotionally.

    So before we go any further to discuss why goals are important and ways we can achieve them, I would like to share some of my own personal ones Ive set out to accomplish and where they each stand. The purpose for that is to show you there is hope for YOU!!! Reread that again, there is HOPE for you! Its not easy, it’s a process to work through, its believing that you can, it’s looking into the mirror and saying I DESERVE this!

  The first goal I had set out to do was get off most of my medication at one time I was on 24 pills a day. That all stopped back in 2003.With talking things over with my doctors, having support of family and friends. I then was off ALL meds for my bipolar for about 6 years, it was during that time a lot of my other goals came to fruition.

   Then back in 2011  I had to go back on meds, but just 2, when I was diagnosed with a chronic disease called Intersttial cystitis…  and a lot of things were going in  our lives at that time I had to get stable again and I did. Over the years another goal that ties into that was learning better coping skills and how stress management plays a vital role in staying mentally healthy.

   I then made the goal of going to college and take early childhood education, I took just about all my childcare classes,   and though unable to get my degree because of my physical health I not only became lead teacher I got my state certification for Director 2., when we set small goals and go about them taking small steps, they are easier to attain and achieve. Of course the goal of working after many years of not able to, But sadly had to stop after 3 and half years in the field because of my physical health.

   A couple of years back I started writing book about my life and all that ive been through, then I stopped because life got busy and my health was top priority, then I started up again and got much further along in writing it, then it got misplaced and I though all was gone,  I prayed, I prayed hard, writing had always been a passion of mine and I know its part of Gods plan for me to write and get my story out there. Sure enough hubby found it on his hard drive and I was so thankful. So that’s a goal im still working on and not giving up on!

 So why are goals important, we all have gifts and talents and passions, God made us with them, to sue them for his glory. We all have a purpose in this world. We all add something to the mix. When we have goals set, we have something to work towards. We use our minds, we stay busy, and we learn, we grow and then when we accomplish them it’s a sense of satisfaction and it boosts our self esteem that we can make something of our lives!

 It’s important to set small achievable goals, so you don’t feel overwhelmed! Because then you might feel disappointment if you can’t achieve them. But no one is a failure when we try our hardest! That’s all we can do! Setting small goals can be anything! But for you it’s a big goal! Getting out of bed, taking a shower, going for a walk, giving yourself me time!!! Very important! Taking time to read your bible!

   Taking a online class, starting part time work, whatever you set your mind to, start off small, write up  steps, it might even help to set time frames id like to lose weight by this date! Whatever it may be, start small! You can do it I know you can!

 Goals are important part of life! We can’t just float through life with no goals! Talk to your therapist about what you what out of life, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish something! Believe in yourself! Others do! I do! I know its scary, but when you step out and take that first step, like i did, when I started college, I never thought I was college material, I had dropped out of high school at 16, only to go back later, not too later, about a year or so later!

  Reach for the stars! Goals give us purpose and a new perspective on life, something we can work towards achieving!Once you accomplish one goal, others will become easier.

Supporting Family and Friends with Bipolar~

Good evening readers, im so sorry that the day have got away from me and its been awhile since I posted in this blog. I miss writing, such a part of who iam, and I know there are so many out there who struggle daily, and I want this blog to be a glimmer of hope amidst your dark days.

    Tonight’s topic is supporting family and friends who have mental illness. This disease doesn’t just affect the person who has it, but those in that person’s life who are closest to them. The effects are far reaching; it is a family disease in many ways. So what are ways that if you are close to someone with mental illness, how can you support them, whether it be a child, parent, spouse, best friend, ect…….

   I speak from both sides as someone who has dealt with bipolar and someone who has friends and family who has struggled with this. Ive had amazing support over the years from my husband don and my parents and my grandparents and best friends. They all took the time to educate themselves and stand by me when things got very ugly.

     So what are the ways to come along side and show your love and support in very tangible ways? Educating yourself is very important, for me I already knew how to approach them because I dealt with is, but many don’t, for many this is new territory and it’s just as scary for those in the person’s life, as the person who has been diagnosed. Part of educating yourself is know what Bipolar, depression ect is,  what are the symptoms, what are triggers and what triggers your loved ones or friends episodes.

  Be a listening ear, this is something that’s so important, with bipolar you get deopressed for unknown reasons because of chemical imbalance, those in our lives who love us can’t fix it, but when they actively listen and reassure us they are there, it can make a world of difference. Don’t pass judgments; those suffering are hard enough on themselves without added negativity directed towards them. Guilt is often a feeling that those with mental illness deal with, what you may mean for good, could make them feel more guilty. Coming along side and helping us see clearly and patiently is what we need. At times we feel like we’re under a magnify glass; we are always hardest on ourselves.

   For those who have the depression be as open and honest with your loved ones, help them understand to help you. Its not easy on anyone. It can be scary for a family member to watch their loved one change or transform into a person they don’t know or understand. You need to work as a team. We do our part, and hope they do theirs. It can be tiring, it can feel like a rollercoaster not just for the person with the diagnosis , but the family and friends too.its important for family and friends to get their own support talking to other family members deal with a loved one going through this, that support is vital.

   Sometimes our words seem to not make a difference; we may feel defeated in offering help. I saw my husband go through this, when my bipolar was at its worst. It can be frustrating for the person with the illness if their family and friends don’t understand or don’t take the time to understand and offer support, Family counseling can be so beneficial to the overall emotional health of the family unit.

   Don’t try to walk this road alone. Iot will be very lonely and it can feel overwhelming. Family and friends need to change their view of how they view behaviors, not to look at them as weakness or laziness. And don’t view your loved one as those things. Someone suffering day in and day out with bipolar struggle with feelings of worthlessness, if we aren’t careful our help can come across as judgments.

  Part of educating yourself about this disease and about your loved one, is being able to tell the difference between your loved on and when they are having a episode. Know the difference between symptoms and feelings. Communication and honesty is the key to understanding and a good relationship. When we are feeling most vulnerable and fragile, is when we need the most TLC…. Its unknown territory for all, so be patient, and love each other!

Bipolar Sleep the Importance of It~

                                              Good Evening my readers. I apologize for not writing in my blog recently, there were a few things going on that, I had to take some time off of blogging. I ‘am back now in full force. Tonight’s topic is one that many out there face. How does sleep play a important role in the mental health aspect? Lack of sleep can trigger mania in a bipolar patient and too much sleep is a big warning sign that depression is setting in.  

     It’s important to get a good night’s rest for anyone, many benefits from having a normal sleep routine, but those who suffer with bipolar, need to stay on top of their sleep patterns.  Sleep disturbance can trigger the mania and depression. Knowing what to look for when a person is starting to cycle, through a mood change is important for those who have bipolar and those in their life who may care for them, or are close to them in some capacity.

   I dealt with severe bipolar for years. When I did not get a good night’s sleep, it threw my entire routine and mental capacity off kilter. I was more susceptible to stress, physical health issues and unable to deal with daily self care. One of the biggest things that triggers a person with bipolar is stress and lack of sleep can cause stress. Ones thought patterns are not clear; I was more sensitive to everything. I was irritable, and on edge.

There is a connection between our body’s internal clock and physiological responses. Understanding this connection is important part of living daily with Bipolar. My bipolar has been stable for years, but I still need to stay on top of my sleep patterns and I know now how to deal in healthy ways with stress. We need to know our bodies. I deal with chronic pain from a couple different painful diseases, I don’t sleep well because of my pain, with that being said, I know I need to stay on top of my sleep patterns, so I don’t fall back into a depression. Bipolar is not a death sentence, it can be managed and you can  learn to cope. I take only 1 medication for my depression, if I’m not careful with stress I can find myself getting  depressed, I do my best to catch up on my sleep if I have not had a good night sleep night before.

    I challenge you to understand this part of knowing your body and  how you respond to lack of sleep, what to look for.Ways you can do this is journal your sleep patterns, give yourself a routine and do the best to stick to it the same time every night, Be open and honest with your therapist. And most of all give you plenty of TLC tender loving care. Just like all our body needs care, our minds do too, and sleep is the bodies’ way of refueling, recharging. You won’t regret it.

Poem~She Found a Reason to Stay~

      In a broken and cruel world, searching, asking yourself what are you still alive for?

Reaching for the unknown, yet holding onto what we already know, it’s a fine line, a balance of sorts, the fine line between, loosing oneself and genius. Between holding too tight to your dream and not believing dreams can come true anymore. How do we survive our worlds of inner madness, looking for the will to fight? To live, not just survive. Yet that’s what we do every day, we fight the battle, we slay the dragon.

    What holds  you together when you feel like  falling apart at the seams, what gives  you strength to keep pressing on, when all  you want is to feel peace…. In  your mind. Strength it lies within? Why then have I never seen it before? I’m trying with every bit if strength I can,  show im trying to work through all the emotions I feel, all at once I feel, like the rain they fall… down … down on me.

  They seep into my veins, these emotions are real, separate them from me, I’m a person not just a disease. I make room to learn, always room to grow.im stepping out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t always easy, I recall the dark places my mind used to go. I was searching for even a thread of hope to hold onto.

    Ive maneuvered my way through my tangled web of desperation and fear, I was so afraid I was losing myself along the way, but maybe it was then I truly understood for the first time in a long time she didn’t want to give up. She had found a Reason to stay; her life was not just a piece of shattered glass on the bathroom floor. No longer trampled upon, she found her voice once more .Courageous one rise up, open up your eyes to the new dawn. Look your life is unfolding with beauty the eye can’t comprehend. Pull down the blinders, this is not your end~

I hope this  poem, encourages you that there is Hope, when all looks bleak, there is still Hope~  ive been there and im stable now and have been for years, but i do this blog to help all out there who feel lost and desperate, to know they aren't alone, and this isn't all there is for them!~

From Darkness to the New Dawn~

              Silence as dark as the night that pierces your soul. The tears that sting our eyes when we cry, once they start falling from our eyes, will not be able to stop.  So many precious lives lost because they thought suicide was the solution to their pain, to a problem that there was hope for.

                The topic I want to address is very tough, very sensitive subject, why because it’s a growing problem of epidemic portions and it hits close to home. I’ve been there, I’ve felt those thoughts. Suicide is real, raw and final. Every single day people of all ages, races and backgrounds end their lives for many reasons. It truly breaks my heart, and I can feel all your pain because I know and I understand what drives a person over the edge, of wanting to end their life, of seeing no other way through, all they see is a way out.

                I’ve tried many times to end my life, times when my thoughts were all jumbled together. I could not see beyond the darkness, my spirit felt crushed beneath the weight of the world, which was what I felt was on my shoulders. So many people feel hopeless because they feel their circumstances will never improve, they don’t realize the help that out there for them, they can’t see beyond this moment, and they don’t realize how many love them and the impact their life has on those around them, or their depression wins the war.

                In that moment when the person chooses death over life, your mind escapes the reality. It’s as if you can't feel, I felt so many times my life was not worth fighting for. I couldn’t see through my feelings, knowing that feelings come and they go, and brighter days would shine again, but not at that moment all I could think of was being in that time, as if that time stood still. Wanting the emotional pain to just end, Suicidal ideation comes in at times like a roaring lion, trying to discover who we are. Other times it comes in silently, trying not to tread on your life in what others portray as a neat wrapped package.

     Nothing is scarier than feeling like you are out of control of your thoughts and actions. Feeling helpless, feeling like your screaming at t he top of your lungs, and no one answers because no one hears and you take that reaction as no one cares. I’ve been there, I know how that feels. Those were my thoughts, my feelings, my story, my battle I fought daily for years.

    Although suicide does not discriminate against age, race religion or background, it’s the leading causes of death among 15-24yr olds. But people of all ages are coming to end of their rope, they don’t believe there is hope and they don’t reach out for help. It’s not just those with mental illness that succumb to this. There are many reasons why a person tries to take their life, dealing with a death of close family or friend, loss of job, loss of relationship, abuse, chronic illness, all these are life changing events that can lead a person down this road, until their emotions spiral so deep and  not reaching out for help in time. When there are so many resources available out there.

            I have  Hope for you because I’ve experienced Hope and I know that Hope is real, its tangible and its achievable know because I battled this monster of  bipolar and suicidal thoughts for so long and like so many fall to the deceit these disease lie to them saying there life has no value, when their value really is priceless. I’ve been on both sides I’ve been a patient and I’ve studies psychology. I would love to eventually become a therapist.

             I understand how the mind  works, its fascinating and  its because of what ive dealt with that id want to help, book knowledge is important so you understand the What causes depression and how it leads to someone wanting to end their life. Yet life experience is a big contribution too.

      So many young people are turning to suicide as the answer. This is tragic, Instead of reaching out to the resources that are set in place. So where are we going wrong? There are many amazing councilors,’ therapists out there, but are we doing all we can do. We need to reach out to these precious lives before they make that final decision. It’s a problem that’s growing by epidemic proportions. We need to speak out and speak loud .Suicide is a very real serious problem, that can’t be taken lightly. There are some misconceptions of suicide, its important to know what the warning signs are.

  I never wanted to be a statistic, I almost became one. Today ia, thankful to be alive. Though I suffer daily in chronic pain with 3 painful diseases, which makes me depressed at times, I have a purpose in my life. I’ve learned to use all the pain in my life both physical and emotional to help others. I don’t just want to survive, I want to live and thrive. I want to see my godchildren grow up and see their dreams come true. And be there on their wedding days.

      There is always Hope, no matter how dark the night. Nothing is more scary, than feeling as if your alone with your feelings, like you’re the only one. The truth of the matter is Many suffer in silence with depression. Many suppress there emotions and don’t deal with their pain, until its too late. There are people who care, I for one care about you, each of my readers, even if ive never met you face to face, I have a heart for those who are hurt, who are broken ,I’ve been there and I hope by sharing my story from hopelessness to HOPE, you will believe me when I say your loved! Your precious, your life is a masterpiece. You are here for a purpose, that only you can fulfill.

        When the world says you can’t, hope whispers’ you CAN! There are resources out there so please reach out. .Id personally be more than happy to be there for you my email is NatalieMacangel@gmail.com . email me anytime or you can leave a message on here and ill get back to you whichever is more comfortable for you .Today you can begin a new chapter in your life, all you have to do is reach out and there will a hand for you to hold.