A disease like bipolar is ever changing experience, one that
can’t always be predicted beforehand. Though there comes a time the longer you’ve
had bipolar the more adaptable you become, the more you learn what you can and can’t
handle.
Everyone is different;
everyone handles life in a different way. Everyone can learn to cope and live a
productive life, yes even with bipolar. Not everyone can handle a job, and that’s
ok, but everyone can learn healthy coping skills, yet even so not all can work,
but if you were to ask me is it possible, yes it is for some.
Let me briefly
share my experience with working. When it was at its worst, I couldn’t even
function, in day to day activities, never mind working outside the home. It was
something that I wanted to do,, felt anger and experienced guilt because I was
unable to work’s couldn’t even hold a job down without getting fired from so
many days off. I felt so useless in helping our family financially. I could not
contribute, I honestly felt like a burden to my husband who worked so hard to
provide for his family. Have you ever felt these feelings?
My
husband was so supportive most of the time; it was tough on him at times. He always
told me my first priority is to take care of myself and get stable. I will
provide for you and God will provide for us, that’s, what he always told me. I
tired numerous times to step out into the work force, only to get let go because
I d miss so many days’ wanted to feel normal and work like everyone else, but I
just couldn’t. I cried a lot at night, when don was fast asleep, he never knew
about those nights, not until many years later.
My
depression kept my housebound for quite a awhile, then finally after years of
therapy and correct medications and a lot of support and prayers, I finally was
stable enough to take that big step and start working. Then cancer struck and
that took me out of the workforce again. Then finally after I beat the big C…. I
was able to look to my future with Hope and started working as a toddler teacher
that is until my physical health took a toll, not the tumors this time, but
chronic painful disease with no cure.
I haven’t
been able to work since end of 2009. And I hate that fact, I had overcome so
much after so many years with the bipolar keeping me from work, then saw my
dream come true only for it to be taken again.
You need to believe in yourself, it don’t matter
what anyone else says, its not their life, and YOU know YOU best, silence all those
voices that said you can’t. Show them what you’re capable of. Take small steps,
you might just surprise yourself. Doors will open that you never thought would.
Your confidence will soar. But remember small goals. You don’t know what lies
over that horizon. I never thought id be writing, though I’ve loved writing for
as long as I can remember. I never thought id be writing on a international level,
God opened doors not just for this blog but for me to blog for the
international bipolar foundation website.
God has opened the
floodgates of blessings to come forth pouring in. He used my story and my pain
and that bipolar is not the end all. It doesn’t have to confine you or your dreams.
If you believe and you work hard, it all will be worth it. Set the goals, but don’t
overdo or push yourself so you have too high expectations. Much Love and
remember reach for the stars and never
stop shining~
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