Depression can be very Isolating~

   She hides away in her bedroom, with curtains drawn; this is where she spends her days and lives her life, behind the closed door, safe and alone with her thoughts. Inside these four walls, she hides from the outside world. She once was a vibrant outgoing person. She had hopes and dreams, and she felt like she had a purpose. Now she feels she is just a glimpse of the person she was, tainted images of a life she once lived. Now the light in her eyes has dimmed, she spends her days crying and alone. She Separated from everyone who loved her, separated from the outside world, spending her days living on the outside, looking in.

Have you ever felt like this young woman? I know I have many times over the years. There are many reasons why a person isolated himself or herself. Sometimes difficult circumstances make us retreat into ourselves. Into our own liitle world, where we feel safe, where we wont feel judging eyes, ist when we feel like we have no support, we feel utterly alone.

Isolation im focusing on is that which comes with depression, why do we isolate ourselves when we are depressed? It could be because we don’t feel others will understand where were coming from, or we just don’t want to be around people, speaking from experience I understand this all to well, for many years when my bipolar was at its worst hid away.

    I did not like to be around crowds. I found every reason to cancel plans or retreat into my safe place, I withdrew socially would stay home when my husband would go out with friends, I know it was tough on him, but I couldn’t explain my feelings, I dint understand them myself, so how could I possibly explain how I felt to the man I loved?

  It became a vicious cycle of, I would be depressed, so id isolate and then the more I isolated the more depressed I got and the more depressed I go the more I just stayed away from everyone and everything! Then the fear came, what would others think, how can I look like I have it together hen inside im trying to escape from my thoughts and myself! I felt like io could no longer relate to people, I felt inadequate. What is certain is depression and isolation go hand in hand with one another.

 So many years I was that girl I described, afraid of me afraid of my own shadow, afraid of who was staring  back at me, I thought id im feeling this down, I don’t want to bring others down with me and yes I almost lost myself. Thankfully, with God’s help, my husband and family and friends and therapy I was able to focus on the root causes. I accepted how I felt, I learned to deal and healthy coping. Those raw emotions were no longer buried deep within my soul.

  I finally was able to step out into the world again, not just with a painted smile, but I became alive again .I no longer felt the need to hide away .Im here to tell you there is hope and your depression doesn’t have to isolate you from the rest of the world. We learn to cope, and we learn to talk instead of hide. We step out from behind the four walls, open the door and embrace the beauty of life once again.