Hello
readers hope you guys had a good day today. So I was sitting at my desk trying
to think what my next entry would be in this blog; there are so many different topics
that those dealing with mental illness struggle with, and I hope to eventually touch
upon them all in some way.
I decided to write about dealing with Mania. I
talked briefly about what depression is like and now I want to discuss the
polar opposite of this disease. Bipolar for those who might not know or
understand have 2 different main components to it. From the heart wrenching depression
where you feel hopeless to the Mania where you feel as though you’re on top of
the world and nothing or no one can hold you back, it’s as though you feel your
untouchable.
I can
recall years ago when my bipolar ugly head reared and it was running rampant in
my life. I remember like it was yesterday those days I would wake with boundless
energy, where I could go days without sleep, where my words were all slurred
together, because when I spoke it all just all was as if I was rambling on. My
thoughts were so jumbled and my mind raced, that’s one of the many things I hated about the mania, I felt as if my mind
could not slow down, I couldn’t turn my thoughts off. Which was so exhausting?
People with bipolar; usually deal with one of
these more frequently than the other. I had my share of mania, but I usually dealt
more with the depression aspect of this. There were days I felt as if I was
climbing out of my own skin and that’s a terrible feeling. Like I wrote about
in my last entry about the important role medications plays in keeping this disease stable, this is one of
the reasons, its so important, to balance
out the chemicals in our brains.
I
can say there were something good that came out of the mania, and that was
having the amount of energy I did, because when I was under the cloud of
depression, my energy was gone, so those times when the mania would kick in, I
took full advantage of I, and got my housework done and took care of things I had
been neglecting to do. On the other hand, along with the mania came the feeling
I did not need sleep, which is a huge role in helping people who deal with
bipolar stay stable and able to function. One thing you find is stress triggers
bipolar, lack of sleep affects our minds or ability to make good judgments and
will play havoc on our emotions and mental well being.
During a manic episode as they are called, I couldn’t
always think rationally and when lack of sleep is thrown into the picture, it made
for a scary situation. Though during a manic episode I felt so happy, I felt
carefree, I felt I could do anything I wanted to do and nothing would stand in
my way. Though in the back of my head, I knew I would crash and I would come
off that manic high and come crashing down into another deep depression, which
was always my fear.There are other aspects of mania, like spending foolishly or in some cases dealing with dangerous sexual behavior, but not everyone affects each person with the mania.
It was like a roller coaster I was on every day,
yet I could not get off of it, and I never knew how I’d feel, from day to day,
or moment to moment. Bipolar affects people differently, some live more on the
manic side and others more in the pit of depression, it’s like your teetering
between the two worlds, one is where the sun is shining and you hold your head
high and say I can do anything, and the other, you feel like you’re carrying a
heavy load on your shoulder, and its pressing you down.
It was with
my faith played a role in helping me cope, seeing a therapist regularly and
being on the proper medication to help even things out. Later on I will discuss
the other components of bipolar, mixed episodes and rapid cycling. So until next
time, Keep fighting, Live the best you can in the moment and always remember there
is hope out there.
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